Cats are Skanky
NO one who knows me would label me an "animal lover," though I do tear-up when I see the saggy humped camel at Lagoon. My question to all is--why do people own cats? I don't get it. Dogs I can understand. They're fun, playful, full of companionship, etc. (though I don't really want to own a dog--at last I can understand those who do). So, last night we were at FHH and the hosting apartment had 2 cats awaiting our arrival. When they opened the door of the apartment, I nearly turned right around and went home. If it hadn't been for Kimmy prodding me, I probably would have. Can't you see?--cats keep people from fhe. . .further proof that they are followers of Satan. Maybe my dislike of cats stems from the fact that they dislike me. . .or perhaps it's because I think they're SKANKY. Even if you are a cat lover, I don't think you should subject others to your tainted lifestyle. Put them outside. . .lock them in the other room. . .drop them in the river (not really). You know, single women who have cats (especially multiples) are SCARY. So, if I even remotely mention adopting a cat. . .go ahead and drop me in the river.
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17 comments:
Maybe cat hatred is hereditary. I don't think Worth likes them much either, does he?
Amen!!! I used to go Visit teach a gal who had 3 siamese cats. They liked leather shoes and would rub up against mine. It made me crazy. Cats suck!!
Cats are the filth of the EARTH! I know a couple people (hundreds more than just a couple) that wouldn't mind talking about how they feel about cats...people much like the Sorensen brothers or Dirk Leavitt. They could telll stories about how they punish cats for living. It's great.
Cats are so lame. Once I accidentally(?) backed over a cat in a driveway. It didn't die, probably because it was soulless.
I'm offended.
"Dogs Rule, Cats Drool!" What movie does this statement come from? Any guesses?
This is my daughter speaking - good girl - cats are just plain down right sick. Let me tell you a story. When John (my brother) and I were little (he could hardly crawl) we lived in Grace, Idaho. Next door there lived a cat. One day we were outside - the cat had had a tail the day before. John was chasing him (crawling) and almost caught him. There was only one problem - the cat had no fur, bloody and only bone for a tail (yuk). It had caught his tail in SOMETHING - don't know what - maybe a steel door, maybe a cat trap, maybe a swinging door, maybe someone steped on it and maybe someone skinned it. Ever since then - no cat for me. I just plain don't like em. They even smell. Remember the 9th Ward stinky "cat tent". The tent had been cleaned at least 20 times - still smelled like cat. Yes, no cat for me!!!!!
Lula- you win!!! Not only are you super hip blogging and all, but you had the world's longest comment. I think sweet Michelle should give you some points or something cuz you're a winner!
Well here is a story for you...Veronica might be familiar with this story. I believe that it was our friend's aunt or something that had a cat and she had just petted it goodbye and got into her car and when she arrived at her desintation there was a cat tail in her door...There was no cat connected to it. No more cat. I can just imagine the cat flopping about outside the door while she drove...ha! That is maybe a teeny bit sad...hmmm...
I do recall that, happily. I also recall disguising a cat as a baby and taking it into Walmart. Wait a minute, Laura...didn't that cat play a big role in your campaign for student body activity leader '01-'02? Do you still have that video?
Hmm...me with a cat? Are you sure? Okay, okay, I did take a cat into Walmart. I should have left it there. Walmart and cats belong together...and yes I did get elected...and yes it was against Ray Ryerson...and yes Ray Ryerson is no competition whatsoever. Did I mention the cat was on a leash? That was the only saving grace to the ordeal...that a rope was around it's furry neck!
I am going to have to do some investigating in the old Virtue tape archive the next time I'm home and then we could have a double feature with Jr. Miss. Hell, there's nothing better! (I gotta throw in those profanities whenever possible...if you know what I mean)
That was certainly my best acting debut. Blackfoot High school students were clamoring to get my autograph.I had appearances in all sorts of movies produced by Veronica and Laura. I'm suprised I didn't make the Park City cut...I was most certainly there! Meow...I'd like to give a shout out to Maucho Man~
Did I ever mentioned that I am named after a cat...my mom was walking down the street when she was prego w/ me and apparently by girl #3 her creative juices had dried up for baby names...so she sees a Calico kitten and decides to name it "Calli"...oh, wait...why waste such a pretty name on a cat...I'll name my future bundle of joy Calli instead! Thus, my complete and absolute digust with the filthy animals. I've since learned that "Calli" is a very popular pet name. I've had three neigbors with dogs named Calli and the most recent one...Ryan's brother's family named their dog Calli... and that was after they had met me!!
Profanities are especially welcome when talking about Jr. Miss.
I have another cat story - most of you have heard it but . . . it is too good to pass up. Now I have a really good friend and her son was little once. One day we were on the phone - couldn't find the son. Huh, she called his name. He said "mom I am up here - they are okay". She asks "whose okay?" Decides to check. The three baby kittens swirling in the toilet. "Their okay mom - I was giving them a bath". Oh my gosh - she grabs them out and NO RESPONSE. Rubs them with a towel - I think they made it but can't remember. Just imagine the scene - swirling cats in the toilet - bathing.
I would just like to say that I was the first to ever call a cat skanky. Actually, no, I called them sluts. They are disgusting!!!
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