Problem? Disaster? Fire? Call Mickey!

Today I decided that I have a weird job. First thing this morning someone called me about the straw we use in the life size nativity scene in the religious lounge. Apparently, there is some concern that the straw is not fire retardant. Honestly, nothing in this building is fire retardant. . .let's see--paper (no), ribbon (no), foliage (not so much), etc. So we had the straw promptly removed and I was off to search for a large quantity of burlap as its replacement. . .because that will fight off any fire!?.@!$ The next call was from our catering/event staff. My friend, Lynne's voice was full of fear and I was summoned upstairs with the warning that there was a serious emergency. My first thought was that the straw had caught fire before I was able to replace it with my fire retardant burlap. I prepared for the worst. Instead, I discovered that someone had graciously made a rebar cupcake holder for a party in the ballroom tonight and it was ghastly. Honestly, the ugliest thing I've ever seen. It was draped with tinsel, a few colored lights, and a child-like foil star topped off the monstrocity. Why is it that people call me when things have the potential to burst into flame or a welding mishap threatens to ruin the big party? Things seem to have calmed down (knock on wood. . .the fire retardant kind, of course). The burlap is out, every flowers has been delivered with a smile, accounting took care of my daily purchasing card fiasco, the cupcake tree is now actually pretty cute, and I'm ready for a long winter's nap.