The Harrisons

One of two things can happen to a person when they get married. They can either grow horns or sprout wings. The horn grower (horny) becomes obsessed with their significant other. They can't be bothered anymore by their single friends and refuse to fratranize with anyone "ringless." The few that will mix and mingle with singles are constantly trying to set their single friends up with anyone and everyone they meet. The boy that bags their groceries seems nice. . .he's single. . .and he offered paper AND/OR plastic--obviously he'd be perfect for Michelle. Let me tell you something--the kid is 18, he wears white socks with dress shoes, has his mom drop him off at work, his first date was last month and he can't stop talking about the alternative lifestyle of his best friend Dawson--obviously not perfect for Michelle. On the other hand, you have the wing sprouters (angels). These are the couples who get better with matrimony--case in point--Jared and Julie Harrison. The Harrisons were married 7 months ago and they are perfectly darling. We had them over for dinner this very evening and I'm telling you that they are inspiring. What is Jared getting from Miss W. Julie for Christmas? Yep, a chamber so he can start taking bagpiping lessons from the Springville Bagpipe club! Perfect. They are charming, funny, and haven't tried to set us up once. I bet you all can't wait to see Jared in his kilt! He has promised a performance. You're all invited.