White Elephant X-change. X Rated.

This post is not recommended for innocent eyes. The items received at the 2005 McNeel white elephant gift exchange may be unsuitable for children. If you'll recall, this is the exchange mom was unwilling to give up the Cub Scout Bear for! Each year the gifts get more and more outrageous. This year I was the happy recipient of a wonderful moose basket full of goodies. Upon further inspection, I realized that the chocolates in the basket were a strange shade of gray--almost the color of a regular elephant. The party started to warm up a bit when Uncle John (far left) opened a scalp massager that claims to stimulate hair growth. How ironic that he and Uncle Wally were sitting by one another when the precious gem was opened. It looks like Wally has a great deal of faith in the wirey product. Look for these three gentlemen next Saturday morning on the "paid for TV" advertisements with "before" and "after" pictures.
For several years my grandpa's old slippers have made their way around the family. They are well worn and holy--HOLEY. The only saving grace is that they don't stink. Well, it would appear that the stars were aligned and the newest member of the family is now the proud owner of the infamous slippers. It's a lot like the story of Cinderella, isn't it? Congratulations, Eric! Hope to see you and the slippers next year.
Things took a turn for the worse when Eric (cousin Eric--not to be confused with brother-in-law Eric) opened a gift brought by the Virtues. The wig, leopard print manicure set, and a lovely tube-top were all ONE gift. What a find! Please note two things. First of all, it's frightening how well his facial hair matches his new tresses. Secondly, the tube-top filling was a loaner from another participant.
Yep--this was the finale of the Christmas festivities. . .Uncle Wally opened the golden nugget. This must be explained to avoid any confusion or offense (actually you still might be confused or offended after the explanation. . .but at least I tried). My Aunt Leah (who is absolutely crazy) had breast cancer and thought it would be pretty darn funny to include one of her prosthetic breasts in a special Christmas package for all to enjoy. Poor Uncle Wally looked as though he'd seen a ghost when he opened the brilliant booby. He warmed up to the idea rather quickly and proceeded to use it as a hat. I'm not sure what John is trying to do. Personally, I don't like hairy boobies, but to each his own.
Until next year. . .