My New Arch Nemesis

I have a neighbor named Jackie (that's her real name. . .not worried about protecting the innocent because she isn't). She parks her Toyota Highlander right across from the Passat. Up until last week, Jackie and I were wave-only neighbors. We were familiar faces--not even acquaintances and that was just fine with me. The realities of modern technology brought us together as we attempted to figure out an equally beneficial exchange of internet service. Unfortunately, the reality of our newfound relationship is simple--she is WEIRD and I can't handle her. She is the antithesis of everything I need, want, and adore. First of all, she is flaky. We made 4 appointments (at her request) and she failed to pull through on any of them. Why should I waste my time because she can't seem to pull herself together? How do people like this survive in the real world? Secondly, Jackie is a complete airhead. INCOMPETENCE. Thirdly, she has millions of nick-nacks in her house. It's like an overstuffed antique shop--with creepy dolls everywhere. I need order. You know I love shopping and stuff, but there is no room in my life for clutter. I had a nightmare last night that one of her dolls walked over to my house and perched itself on my countertop. Yep--woke up in a sweat after that. The only thing that could have cinched the visit would have been the appearance of a herd of cats. I'd be willing to bet my new luxurious wedges that they were there. . .hidden, lurking, sneering. I know I sound like a complete brat. I know this is a petty and self-centered illustration of my own idiosyncrasies. I know I should be more kind, charitable, and less judgmental. I know these things! I know. I know. The only thing I can figure is that this overwhelming dislike stems from a terrible fear that someday I'll be the 36 year old single woman in the GV with lots of porcelain dolls and a feline to accompany each. YIKES!

Needless to say, Jackie and I have not nor will we ever find a symbiotic relationship. I don't care how much DSL is going to cost me per month. It's worth it not to have to deal with the A.N. (arch nemesis).

Sidenote: Jackie is very nice. She is probably going to end up in heaven looking down and waving to her mean-spirited neighbor.