CUPID, you're kinda STUPID. . .

You might have noticed that my posts this past week have been less frequent. You might have also noticed that the dreaded 2/14 is upon us. Yep, there's a correlation! You don't manage a floral shop and hope to get much action from cupid. Don't get me wrong, I love making Valentine cards, sugar cookies, and sucking in the sappiness of the holiday, but those to support the hopeless romantic in their endeavors to impress are like Santa's elves in December. So, over the next few days, my comments are likely to be inspired by the events in our own little CCF. This is the first installment in my Valentine's Day 2006 series: Cupid, You're Kinda Stupid! You'll all enjoy this article entitled the 5 WORST Valentine's Day gifts.

Lingerie: Who are we kidding? The gift of a see-through teddy or a bustier with garters and stockings is really a gift for you, gentlemen, not her. Oh sure, women want to like sexy lingerie, but snaps and hooks can be a lot of work. And if the woman doesn’t feel confident and only notices this bulge and that patch of cellulite when she sports that teddy, she isn’t likely to wear it. A soft, sexy cashmere sweater or a pair of silky soft pajamas are more likely to make her feel sexy, which will be a win for you in the long run.

Gas-station flowers: Not just those, but boxes of candy purchased at your office cafeteria or little stuffed animals grabbed at the check-out stand at the grocery store. Nothing says, "I didn’t even think about this" more than those gifts. Retailers lay in wait each year, lining up trinkets just for you last-minute shoppers. Instead of grabbing the first thing you see, spend a few minutes thinking about something she would really enjoy before you enter the store. There’s a good chance the most meaningful gift isn’t in that store, and won’t cost you a dime. Think!

Gym membership: If what you’re trying to say is ,"I love you, you big fat pig," this is the gift for you. If you want to continue to live in your own home, save it for another time. Perhaps you’re thinking "I’m giving a gift of a healthy heart, from the heart"? Maybe so, but it would take a very confident, special woman to see the heart-felt gesture in the big-fat-pig mirror. Alternative suggestion: A gift certificate for a pedicure or a massage. Nothing says lovin' like a little feet pampering.

Clichéd jewelry: Want to give a true gift from the heart? Forget the heart-shaped pendant. It rings particularly hollow if she hasn’t worn jewelry since her high-school prom. What’s so wrong? These trinkets can be found everywhere as Valentine’s Day approaches and all but scream "last-minute purchase." Give it some thought: Would you give this for her birthday or Christmas? If so, buy to your heart’s content. If not, consider an attractive watch, which will show you’ve always got time to think about what makes her happy.

Household goods: No vacuums. No George Foreman grills. Nothing that says "housework." That is the gift that keeps on giving ... her a headache. Valentine’s Day may be a greeting-card holiday, but with a little effort, you can add a touch of true romance. How about a lovely picture frame with a shot of her favorite person inside? (You, maybe?) Or a quiet dinner together alone. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant, as long as it’s from the heart.
By Denise Hazlick, Entertainment Editor